Kindess Matters

by Dr. Susan Canizares | December 8, 2016 | Uncategorized

Feeling tired? Stressed out? Tired of all the negativity in the world? Try doing something nice for a stranger. Scientific studies have revealed that there is a strong link between appreciation and random acts of kindness and overall good health. Never underestimate the impact of a single act of kindness. You may change just their day, or you may change their entire way of thinking.

In schools where kindness and empathy are part of the curriculum, teachers report that teaching kindness supports a healthy learning environment, positive social emotional development, and academic achievement. Kindness also increases a child’s serotonin level, which plays an important part in memory, learning, digestion, and health.

Performing acts of kindness is a great way to bond with your children and teaches them about compassion and empathy. Modeling kindness for your children ensures that the next generation will understand the importance of being kind. While this time of year presents many chances for kindness—such as opportunities to volunteer and donate goods and services—performing these small acts all year long will benefit both the recipient and the giver.

An act of kindness does not need to cost money, or take a lot of time. In fact, you may be doing some already while trying to teach manners to your child. Some ideas for children to spread some happiness:

• Write a friendly note on the sidewalk in chalk to make a passerby smile.
• Pick up trash at the park.
• Make cards for a senior citizen home.
• Leave a friendly note in a library book.
• Donate a toy to charity.
• Hold the door open for a stranger.

There are also many ideas that you can participate in as a family:

• Make dinner for another family or elderly neighbor.
• Volunteer at a local animal or homeless shelter.
• Adopt a family.
• Give hot chocolate to someone working outside on a cold day.
• Take cookies to the local fire station.

Check out this website for more ideas: randomactsofkindness.org/kindness-ideas

Tags:

Acts Of Kindness, Empathy, Ideas, Kind Acts, Kindness, Kindness Counts

Three Little Words to Diffuse Your Next Power Struggle

In fact, “I hear ya” is a phrase I encourage you to try the next time your child complains about doing homework, washing the dishes, taking a bath, or – whatever the complaint department problem is at the moment. “I hear ya” is a great way to respond when your child is itching for an argument.

Instead of launching into a traditional parenting lecture like, “it’s part of being a family”, or “your job is to go to school and get good grades”, or “you’ll thank me when you’re older” – just say, “I hear ya. I didn’t like doing spelling homework either” or “I hear ya, emptying the dishwasher isn’t my favorite thing to do either.”

Sometimes kids just need to know they are being heard. That you get them. That there is an empathetic ear. Does it make the undesirable task any more desirable? No, but it gives you a moment of emotional connection and usually diffuses the power struggle more quickly. At the same time, it reinforces that you are on their team.

Getting your kids on board without the fuss and grumpiness, now that’s a win-win most parents love to score.

Next time you’re faced with a complaining kid, look them right in the eye with a sincere and knowing sigh and say, “I hear ya.” It works!

Amy Mccready

www.positiveparentingsolutions.com/

How Would You Parent Your Friend’s Child?

Would you like a break from the emotions of parenting? Here’s a little trick: Parent your friend’s child instead.

Parenting is emotional. Our strong emotional connection to our children is a powerful and challenging part of parenting. Sometimes these emotions can blur our vision. Or just wear us down. When you need some perspective about your child’s behavior, try asking yourself a simple question:

How would I parent my friend’s child in this situation?

When it’s our own child acting out, we often feel worse about bad behavior. A good way to lessen emotional intensity is to imagine that you are managing a friend or neighbor’s child. Does it seem less stressful? We think sometimes it might.

Think about listening to your infant cry. The sound of that cry affects you more than the sound of another baby crying. Our own children tap deeply into our emotions, and rightfully so.

That’s why this question can be a quick way to switch from your emotional to logical brain. We don’t have strong emotions attached to our friends’ children the way we do with our own. If they misbehave, it’s much easier to see the whole view and make a decision based on logic, not emotion.

If you would like more advice around emotional parenting, this article is very helpful: 4 Tools To Help You Stay Calm With Your Difficult Child.

By Rebecca Staples

Importance of Brain Injury Prevention

Brain injury is a common problem with young children, but a problem that can be avoided with a few preventative measures from parents. Brain injuries can be caused by trampoline accidents when children land on their head or neck, sports injuries are another common area that can result in brain injury and brain injuries among the skateboarding community are also very common.

Many of these injuries can be prevented if parents to make sure their child wears a helmet anytime they are riding their bicycle, a skateboard or scooter and when skiing – water or snow. Avoiding pediatric brain injury can be done by making sure your baby or toddler is in the right car seat, booster seat or other appropriate child restraints for your child’s age, height and weight.

Getting your child or teenager to wear a helmet when it just isn’t “cool” can be a real challenge. One way to make it work is to show them the professional athletes who are wearing helmets doing the same activities your child loves to do – cycling, skateboarding and even skiing.

Even the smallest accident that involves a head injury can cause irreparable brain damage. Be sure to follow the same safety measures on a daily basis – no bicycling or skateboarding without a helmet and never go on a car ride without buckling up. Place infant seats, booster seats and other small child restraints in the back seat where they are safe from the air bags should they be deployed. Finally, lead by example.

If you are on a family bike ride, be sure to wear your helmet and ever ride in the car without your seatbelts properly buckled. 

How to Deal with Picky Eaters

One of the most common struggles parents have is dealing with picky eaters. Does any of this sound familiar to you?

• Your toddler takes a few bites of food and announces he’s “done”
• You can stock your fridge and shelves full but your little one will only eat the same 5 things over and over.
• Your child asks for one thing, you make it, then she asks for something else then decides she wants something completely different altogether.

Coaxing your children to just take “one more bite” is a constant battle in your home

First things first – meal times are supposed to be relaxing and enjoyable so you want to avoid these battles every time you sit down at the table. Toddlers between the ages of 1 and 3 typically have smaller appetites, so if they only eat a little at a time, that’s ok. However, also realize that their appetites can change on a daily basis and even from meal to meal. If they like carrots, don’t be afraid to throw some in at breakfast. Do they prefer eggs? Who says you can’t have eggs for dinner?

Dinner time is typically going to be the meal that your child feels like eating the least. It’s the end of the day and they are tired and unless they have been doing a physical activity like swimming or playing outside or at daycare, chances are they aren’t going to be as hungry as they are at other times of the day.

If you are dealing with older children who are picky eaters, you may be able to reason more with them and enforce the “one bite rule” – meaning they have to take at least one bite of every food on their plate and if they don’t like it, they don’t have to eat it again.

Here are just a few ideas for dealing with picky eaters:

• Don’t nag or coax smaller children. Pick and choose your battles – plain and simply put, your child WILL eat when he is hungry.
• Have realistic portions: Many parents set unrealistic goals for their children when it comes to mealtime. A good rule of thumb to follow: If your child is under the age of 5-6, use a tablespoon per year of age. If they ask for more when they’ve finished that then you can always give more.
• Keep trying to introduce new foods – even if they haven’t liked them before. Tastes change and you never know when you find something new they like.
• Avoid too much milk, juice and soda in place of food. Many kids will fill up on sugary drinks and have no room for food.

Remember, pick your battles and don’t make meal time miserable for everyone! 

Ideas For Busy Parents For Creative And Healthy School Lunches

There is a wealth of information available about the importance of good nutrition in brain functioning. Growing kids, in particular, need to have a balance of complex carbohydrates, proteins, healthy fats and of course, all the vitamins and minerals their little body needs.

The good news is that kids that bring their own lunches and snacks to school don’t have to end up with the same old thing every day. There are a lot of simple, quick, and easy ways to make really interesting, tasty and healthy foods your kids will love.

Go Insulated

One of the best things to invest in is an insulated lunch bag. These will be very helpful in keeping cold foods cool, especially when paired with an ice-pack. By placing the ice-pack in a zip-lock bag, you can prevent any problems with leaks and still keep fresh fruits, vegetables, dips, cheeses and meats at the right temperature.

Healthy Lunches and Snacks

For some healthy yet simple to make lunch options besides traditional sandwiches consider the following:

• Turkey or chicken or cheese wraps using lettuce, thin strips of red or yellow peppers, and a bit of salsa rather than mayonnaise.
• Pasta salad with mixed vegetables, cheese, diced hard boiled eggs or even diced ham. Use an Italian dressing for something different or a ranch dressing for a more traditional taste.
• Whole grain crackers with cheese, meat and your kid’s favorite pickles. Each can be packaged separately, and the child can make his or her own “stackers” for some fun finger food.
• Fresh cut vegetables with a dip made of ranch dressing or plain yogurt with fresh or dried herbs. Try some unique vegetable options such as colored bell peppers, purple or orange cauliflower, fennel and sugar peas for variety.
• Cube up fresh fruit and provide a creamy dip. This can be made with vanilla yogurt or any other flavor your child enjoys. Remember, fruit and vegetables should be paired with a protein for energy.
• Homemade trail mix can include dried fruits, berries and nuts depending on your child’s preferences and what the school allows.
• Mini-pretzels with a side of salsa for dipping are a great snack and healthier that chips or sugary treats.

Be sure to check with the school regarding any issues with children having peanuts or other types of nuts or foods in the school. Providing a good selection of different items for the child in the lunch is always a good option, as is having your child help you in choosing what they would like to have. 

Relationship Issues For The New Kids At School

As adults, we sometimes forget how difficult it is for a child to go to a new school. They have to go by themselves to a new school, a new classroom, and to have to try to form a whole new group of friends.

For many children there is a lot of anxiety and stress around the first few days and weeks at a new school. This discomfort can be a lot more pronounced if the child is naturally more introverted and shy or has difficulty in starting conversations.

Parents can help their children as the “new kid” by working with the child on how to strike up a conversation, what to look for in a friend, and how to meet new peers and adults in the school. At the same time, parents of kids familiar with the school and with an already established peer group can also talk to their kids about how to include new students in a way that is welcoming and inviting.

New Kids

To help with children going to a new school, or when they are in a school where they know only a few people, parents can help by:

• Brainstorming a list of important qualities to look for in a friend
• Develop a list of conversation starter topics that the child is comfortable with and that are interesting to other kids
• Learn about the neighborhood and the school together by doing some online research. This will help the child feel more comfortable about the school itself as well as local areas.
• Go to the school and spend some time on the playground, ideally with other kids around, so your child gets to know a few recognizable faces

It is also important to encourage your kids to stay connected to their existing friends. They can write letters, send emails, or make phone calls to keep that connection and to help them feel in a group.

Returning Children

For parents of kids returning to the same school, helping them to understand the challenges for the “new kids” can help them to come up with ways to make newcomers feel welcome.

The same activities, including brainstorming what a new person to the school would need to know, can help parents and kids develop some concrete ways to help new children adjust to the school. Encouraging kids to introduce themselves, start conversations and be helpful is a gift a parent can give that will help their child have positive interactions with others for life.

What Parents Need To Know About Kids And Dirt

As a parent it can be more than a bit unnerving in having to deal with all the strange things that kids do. As spring comes around and children who have been cooped up indoors all year take to the backyard, playgrounds, and parks parent may observe some very perplexing and potentially concerning behaviors.

Children, especially toddlers, are very likely to be learning about the world around them for the first time. This often includes putting things in their mouth, including things like dirt and mud. As a parent your first instinct may be to rush your child to the hospital, but the behavior, if a rare incident, may not be any reason for concern.

Normal Kid Stuff

Believe it or not the EPA or Environmental Protection Agency of the United States has actually completed a study on the prevalence of children eating dirt. They have discovered that about 20% of all normal, healthy and well-adjusted children will eat approximately one teaspoon of dirt sometime before the age of three.

When children are tasting and sampling small amounts of soil it is typically natural curiosity about the world around them. This behavior should be minimal and should not be part of a pattern. In addition, children will often put other objects in their mouths such as toys, sticks, rocks and even dirty hands that may also have some quantity of soil on their surface.

Concerns

There is some natural and real concern in children eating soil, dirt, mud, sand or dust. The biggest issue is contamination with pesticides, herbicides and heavy metals that can be present in any soil.

With a small amount of soil this is typically not a health issue. However, if the child continues to eat soil or other non-food items it is important to contact your doctor immediately.

If you have pets such as cats or dogs, there is an increased risk there may be parasites in the soil. Not all parasites of dogs or cats can be passed to humans, but some can. Treating your pets regularly for worms and parasites can reduce this risk to almost zero. It is also critical to keep the yard free of any animal waste.

As a parent, talk to your doctor if you notice any signs of a child eating dirt. In the vast majority of cases it is just normal experimentation, but you and your doctor can ensure that the child is safe and is not at risk for any possible health issues from the consumption of soil. 

Get Involved in Mentoring

Mentoring is one of the oldest teaching methods in the world. Mentoring is really a personal coaching strategy where someone that has a specific skill or subject matter expertise works with another person to impart their knowledge in a very personal and connected way.

With January being National Mentoring Month, it is time for everyone to get busy in helping each other to learn something new or to master a skill they are having challenges with.

The Benefits of Mentoring

The great thing about mentoring is that it is a one-on-one learning method. When you first sat down with your kids and read them a story and they followed along with their fingers and said a word they recognized you were being a highly effective mentor.

Since mentoring is one-on-one the feedback is immediate and proactive. The learner doesn’t struggle through multiple mistakes; they are gently, positively and proactively supported so that they learn how to do the specific task or skill correctly the first time.

However, the benefits of mentoring go beyond just learning math, reading, the alphabet or how to print. It is about feeling the connection of learning and life, and also for the learning to gain self-confidence as they try to learn and master new skills.

If you stop and think about it mentoring is happening every day with your children. When you teach them how to make cookies or how to use a new computer you are being a mentor. Kids that have this type of support are much more willing to try new things, to challenge themselves and to feel wonderful about the accomplishments that they achieve, even if they have a few difficulties along the way.

Get Involved

Talk to your child’s teachers about volunteering to come in and mentor a child. This is a wonderful way to not only help your own child see how you value school and education, but to also give to a child or small group of children that may not have an active parent in their life.

In addition, encourage your child to use mentoring services offered by the school. Many schools have a “big buddy” system where children in higher grades come in and read or do basic math with a “little buddy” which is an excellent way to allow students to experience the benefits of mentoring in a very personal way.