In fact, “I hear ya” is a phrase I encourage you to try the next time your child complains about doing homework, washing the dishes, taking a bath, or – whatever the complaint department problem is at the moment. “I hear ya” is a great way to respond when your child is itching for an argument.
Instead of launching into a traditional parenting lecture like, “it’s part of being a family”, or “your job is to go to school and get good grades”, or “you’ll thank me when you’re older” – just say, “I hear ya. I didn’t like doing spelling homework either” or “I hear ya, emptying the dishwasher isn’t my favorite thing to do either.”
Sometimes kids just need to know they are being heard. That you get them. That there is an empathetic ear. Does it make the undesirable task any more desirable? No, but it gives you a moment of emotional connection and usually diffuses the power struggle more quickly. At the same time, it reinforces that you are on their team.
Getting your kids on board without the fuss and grumpiness, now that’s a win-win most parents love to score.
Next time you’re faced with a complaining kid, look them right in the eye with a sincere and knowing sigh and say, “I hear ya.” It works!
Amy Mccready
www.positiveparentingsolutions.com/
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