As adults, we sometimes forget how difficult it
is for a child to go to a new school. They have to go by themselves to a new
school, a new classroom, and to have to try to form a whole new group of
friends.
For many children there is a lot of anxiety and
stress around the first few days and weeks at a new school. This discomfort can
be a lot more pronounced if the child is naturally more introverted and shy or
has difficulty in starting conversations.
Parents can help their children as the “new kid”
by working with the child on how to strike up a conversation, what to look for
in a friend, and how to meet new peers and adults in the school. At the same time, parents of kids familiar with the school
and with an already established peer group can also talk to their kids about
how to include new students in a way that is welcoming and inviting.
New Kids
To help with children going to a new school, or when they are in a school where they know only a few
people, parents can help by:
- Brainstorming a list of important qualities to look for in a friend
- Develop a list of conversation starter topics that the child is comfortable with and that are interesting to other kids
- Learn about the neighborhood and the school together by doing some online research. This will help the child feel more comfortable about the school itself as well as local areas.
- Go to the school and spend some time on the playground, ideally with other kids around, so your child gets to know a few recognizable faces
It is also important to encourage your kids to stay connected to
their existing friends. They can write letters, send emails, or make phone
calls to keep that connection and to help them feel in a group.
Returning
Children
For parents of kids returning to the same school, helping them to
understand the challenges for the “new kids” can help them to come up with ways
to make newcomers feel welcome.
The same activities, including brainstorming what a new person to
the school would need to know, can help parents and kids develop some concrete
ways to help new children adjust to the school. Encouraging kids to introduce
themselves, start conversations and be helpful is a gift a parent can give that
will help their child have positive interactions with others for life.
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